I was sitting in my chair today, watching the wind blow and the snow melt off the back patio, when the Countdown to Christmas envelope garland caught my eye. It’s still strung across the fireplace, although it’s rather haphazard for the last few days. I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I failed royally this year.

1. I never bought a box of graham crackers, so we didn’t make Graham Cracker Houses. I plain forgot to put them on the shopping list and when it came to the day to make them, I didn’t have them and we couldn’t get to the store to buy more.

2. We didn’t bake more cookies for the neighbors. I was so worried about losing power in the middle of a baking session that I promised a raincheck. That included the fudge I was going to make.

3. We didn’t go on a Full Moonlight Walk. The night this was scheduled it was snowing. Snowing really hard. G-Bunny and I did walk up to the store in town to buy milk and bought ice cream because it wouldn’t melt on the walk home. This one’s just not the memory I thought we’d have, but fun anyway.

4. We watched all the movies in the wrong order, on the wrong days and that messed up the scheduling enough that there were days we didn’t do anything from the list.

5. We didn’t have a Game Night when we played Disney Trivia.

6. We didn’t get to go to see the lights at Warm Beach or Leavenworth.

But the thing that has been bothering me the most?

The one tradition that we have always done is Christmas Eve. It’s the one we all look forward to the most.

This year we were snowed in. We didn’t go to a candlelight church service. We didn’t go look at Christmas lights. My mom bought the new PJ’s this year. I spent two hours wrapping gifts in my bedroom, while listening to iTunes, because I waited until the last minute to get wrapping paper. The kids each wrapped their gift for each other. We carried all the wrapped boxes downstairs and put them under the tree, along with the packages my parents sent.

And then we all went to bed.

Somehow, despite all of the unusual things we did, like skiing in the yard and sledding in the road, the kids still think they missed out. And I keep feeling like I missed the mark.